Ted Casablanca’s Turkey Jerky Awards

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I guess Rob can now add the, er, illustrious “Turkey Jerky Award” to his shelf.  E! gossip columnist Ted Casablanca’s is toasting Rob this year:

Rob Pattinson: Toasted
Sexy Mr. P, who smells great au natural (trust us on this one), lives to not overly shower or coif, mess with his honeys’ hair, get crazy with them and belt a few back before his important scenes. This is utterly our kind of matinee idol. If Robbie just keeps those belts belts—not whole bottles—and the craziness with his chicks fun crazy, this dude’s gonna be the new Brad P. in secs.

I mean, remember when Brad, pre derma-sanded skin and all (so hot!), used to live not to bathe too much, too, before he met Mother Earth reincarnated, Angelina Jolie? Or is that simply what happens when one starts to breed, you clean yourself more? Man, do we ever need a humpy whiskered and whiff-worthy studmuffin in town, or what? Heaven knows man-sissy Zac Efron‘s not fillin’ that boy bill anytime soon. Trust.